


secrets

by amylovescallie



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Lashton - Freeform, M/M, bit of malum
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-27
Updated: 2014-08-27
Packaged: 2018-02-15 01:52:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2211255
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amylovescallie/pseuds/amylovescallie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"i've got bipolar disorder, my shit's not in order, i'm overweight, i'm always late, i've got to many things to say."<br/>"yeah they live in the good life can't see what he is going through."<br/>"they tell us from the time we're young to hide the things that we don't like about ourselves inside ourselves."<br/>"and he says i wish that i could be like the cool kids, cause all cool kids they seem to fit in."</p><p>luke doesn't like a lot about himself and he's spent so long hiding it all. sometimes things just slip out and you can't take them back.</p>
            </blockquote>





	secrets

**Author's Note:**

> based loosely off the song secrets by mary lambert and cool kids by echo smith. malum is there if you squint but blink and you'll miss it. also a bit of to this day project in there. (if you don't know what it is please do search it up on youtube.) also au luke is 16, ash is 18, mikey is 16, and cal is 16.  
> -ash  
> xx

luke was currently sitting with his best mates snuggled into ashton's side. the rest of them were having a very deep conversation about something couldn't bring himself to care about. so instead he focused on ashton's hand tracing the long fingers bending them and just randomly doing whatever. sometimes when he would leave his fingers in ashton's palm for long enough without moving ashton would snap his fingers over luke's just to hear luke's giggle and to get him playing with his hand again. eventually he just held ashton's hand and stared of at a fixed point on the wall thinking about himself. not in the arrogant way  _not at all_ he was thinking about all bad things that made him up. 

he was thinking so much he didn't notice it was now only him and ashton in the room. of course knowing calum and michael would go to bed together. "ready to go to bed lukey?" he asked and the fondness in his tone was literally dripping. luke just smiled and nodded, that was when ashton knew something was up because usually luke would giggle and look up at him making grabby hands which ashton knew meant that he wanted to be picked up. sometimes he'd ask for a kiss. but he didn't think more of it when luke hauled him self up and tugged on ashton's hand to get him going. "cuddle?" was all luke asked and ashton would never say no to luke,  _ever_ so he nodded and they both silently walked to their bunks.

luke crawled into his and ashton crawled in after him sighing and bringing his hands around luke's waist holding him tightly. "i love you." he murmured into luke's ear and all luke could think was  _that's a lie he just pities me_ but nonetheless he told ashton that he loved him as well. he was feeling terrible about himself and he wondered why he was so talkative, and overweight. why did he have to be so bipolar, or why does he always manage to be late. he thinks for a while and silent tears begin to roll down his cheeks. eventually he hears ashton's breath even out and he full on sobs. not a bit of shaking no the kind of crying were your whole body is quaking and your nose hurts and your eyes feel like they have to much pressure and you have the urge to cough. 

not realizing ashton was awake he began whispering to himself "why can't i be perfect, no one fucking likes me, i'm just a waste of space." he was still shaking with sobs and ashton held him tighter "babe what the actual  _fuck_ are you talking about." luke immediately froze up, sobs catching in his throat, his lungs gasping for air, his pulse was racing. "um yeah." he whispered finally not wanting to turn and look at ashton. but somehow ashton was strong enough to flip him, it helped that luke was extremely skinny. "luke you are perfect, everyone loves you. everyone fucking  _envies you_ luke because your so perfect. you would never ever be a waste of space and you never were and you  _aren't_." and luke almost wanted to shout at him "i'm not perfect stop lying to me i'm so fucking-" luke couldn't even continue because he was sobbing up a river again. 

it was all ashton could do to control himself "your really an idiot you know that? you can't see how fucking beautiful you are. get a better mirror luke. look a bit closer, **_stare a bit_** _ **longer!**_ " he now fought back the tears in his eyes because he couldn't stand to see his precious luke like this. he hated it. he didn't even know what to do but he did what he thought was right. he lurched forward and kissed him pressing downwards. luke loved it when ashton kissed him and ashton was right to kiss him because luke was automatically smiling and kissing back. if ashton didn't love him why would he kiss him? definitely not because he pitied him. ashton pulled away looking directly at luke " i love you luke. i really do, i would never ever lie about that okay? i would never. and i love you." luke giggled and ashton knew he had done his job. 

"i love you to ashton. your the color in my world." he whispered pecking ashton once more on the lips very much wanting more but quickly pushing his head into ashton chest very much aware that ashton had chased his lips for another kiss. " never keep your secrets from me luke." he mumbled pressing little kisses onto the top of his head. luke nodded loving the love that flowed from ashton to him. it was like a big warm hug and it enveloped him pressing tightly agains thin and making him feel warm. and there he fell asleep ashton's heartbeat lulling him to it. when he woke up the first thing he heard was an "i love you luke." and right before he fell asleep he heard the same thing. and it was like that everyday from there on and whenever he'd be sad ashton would ask him "have any secrets?"

 

**Author's Note:**

> that ending sucked but whatever.  
> wanna stalk me on tumblr? amylovecallie  
> -ash  
> xx


End file.
